My 7 year old daughter has become a smart mouth. She starts to argue before the conversation is even over. She already acts like she knows it all and will argue the point. She is disrespectfull to me, her stepfather and teacher. She is a good and compasionate child most of the time. It's like her mouth gets away from her. What is the appropriate punishment for this. We have had numerous talks about how it effects everyone and now she is spending a night in her room. Should I continue to ground her for longer periods of time? What is too much? I don't want to make her shut down completely but if she is this way now what will she be like in the teens? She is not a bully at school and has many friends in the neighborhood. She says she doen't know what she says when you tell her that she is smart mouthing. I have tried to explain it to her. Any ideas and suggestions would be welcome.|||It depends on the situation and to what extreme she is smart-mouthing.
#1. Be sure she knows it's inappropriate. Say, "That is SmartMouthing and it is not acceptable." Wait for an apology.
What might not be obvious to you, is not always obvious to kids. I am a teacher in an elementary school. Last week a student yelled, "I have to go have diarrhea!" in front of the whole class. I told her it was inappropriate. She honestly didn't know and was embarrassed when I pulled her aside and told her.
#2. If she knows it's wrong, give her a firm warning to stop it. If she does not, she needs an immediate consequence-- such as a time out.
Okay, so I watch too much SuperNanny.... but it really does work.
#3. Don't argue back. I once heard someone say, "If you argue with a 7 year old and win, you're a bully. If you argue with a 7 year-old and lose, you're pretty stupid. The moral of the story: Don't argue with a 7 year-old."
Basically, when she begins to argue or smart-mouth you, stop the conversation. Make eye contact. Warn her firmly without shouting. Then continue what you were saying calmly. It takes practice, but it's effective.
#4. You mentioned grounding. If you ground her for too long, she'll lose hope and shut down. She needs a firm, swift punishment that doesn't last too long-- because the smart-mouthing action was a fast action. If a child is grounded for too long, they forget why they're grounded-- or worse yet, they spend more time thinking about how to get back at you than thinking about what they did wrong.
Again, I'd suggest a time out. 7 minutes for a 7 year-old. 8 minutes for an 8 year old. 9 minutes for a 9 year old and so on.
Good luck. :-)|||We have the Same problem except our daughter is 6. We spoiled her rotten whe she was little, everything from tv in her room, computer, lots and lots of shopping clothes and toys, and even hilary duff concerts. Big Mistake..... We now learned our lesson. She smart mouths all the time but its always with us. Never at school or around other parents. Like the other day we were at the store and she said mommy im hungry lets go to ihop. I told her no, we are eating dinner at home. She basically was telling me what to do and bossing me around. Telling me lets go now. I put a quick stop to that and i had to raise my voice. Her mouth always gets her in trouble. We just recently started a chart. It has the days of the week and each day has a chore that she has to do. If she behaves and does her chore she gets to put a star on that day. If she gets 7 stars for the whole week she gets to pick a prize- 1: chuck e cheeses. 2- pick a item out at claires accessories( she likes jewelry) 3- go to the beach. 4- spend saturday night watching movies with us in our room. 5- i'll come to school one day and eat lunch with her. If she is bad one day and misses a star, the the rest of the stars are no good and no prize. She hasn't finished her first week yet but its working. Oh we also tryed spanking her bottom before the chart, that didn't work she would just laugh at us. Recently we have come to find out why. She cannot feel her butt ( she has spina bifida but just wears leg braces) We knew she couldn't feel her feet, but never knew she couldn't feel her bum. Gl to ya I definately know how you feel :)|||introduce her to the belt.|||My son has been a bit of a smart mouth and I give him correction for it. Correction can mean several things for him. We do room time or things are taken away from him. If an event was planned and he smarted off to me that day then he does not get to go. It does not matter the punishment, just make sure you do it every single time it happens, consistancy will make her realize you mean business, and no secound chances. It is punishment the first time around, because most kids will push you all however many chances you give them each time. Consistancy is the key here though oh and if she continues no matter how consistant, then you know you are ready for the real grounding where you don't go anywhere are do anything for how ever long you choose, but make sure it is done each and every time.
Oh and once the punishment has been given there is no discussion no reasoning, no talking. If you do all that then you have given her the satisfaction of an argument which what she seems to like because she likes to talk back. No matter how many times she yells kicks and screams you do not give in. I promise you things will get better. Always use nice but firm tones when speaking.|||Clearly it's not your daughter's fault. Most times it's the parents fault for not correcting them or spanking them and not being consistent with rules.
What you need to do is. tell her that for everytime she does that things will start being taken away from her room and eventually she will have nothing in her room and BE consistent! and let her know who is in charge....don't ground her..cause it's not working. don't buy her clothes..tell them she will be wearing old used clothes from resale stores and go to school and tell her she won't watch TV or have any fun any more. tell her that unless she starts talking respectfully, she won't get anything back from her room...take away her priviliges too. make her do chores...eventually tell her that her door of her room will be taken away...it really works.
POsitive reinforcement shoudl be used...Also look in her eyes and talk to her.|||yes send jer to her room and make her stay there.|||Every time she does, take away her favorite thing. Next time, her next favorite thing, and so on. Keep them in a clear container high up in a public part of the house. She dont get them back till she has behaved well for a whole 24hr day, then gets to choose one only.|||Tumble Tim has very good suggestions. I just posted something similar about my soon to be 7 yr old daughter yesterday. There is nothing different in the house or school. No fights between mom and dad, school teachers are the same (no subs!), etc...she has just transformed into this girl I don't know. Today was great though, it's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! On...OFF...On...OFF...
I like the chart thing. Funny how I use a point system with my students in 3rd grade, but have no energy to do at home. but if it works with my students, it must definitely work with my own children!|||It's easy, I have 3 girls ages 4, 7, and 10. All I can say is she is getting to that age.
The solution is simple although i doubt many have the nerve to follow through with it. Next time she pulls some back talk, take her to her room, pull down her pants/undies, put her over your lap, and spank her little bottom red. Some might think 7 is getting to old for a spanking, I disagree. I give more spankings over the age of 5 then under, why??? because a 7 year old knows right from wrong, when they break a rule, there is no doubt they knew what they were doing was wrong (not the same with my "just turned 4 year old). As we know girls can be quite sweet between ages 4-6, somewhere around 7-9 it starts to get very difficult, that is if you don't take care of it early. My 10 year old is much easier now after a very tough period during the ages of 8-9 (many spankings). The only thing is, never have your husband do them since he is not her father. Power up MOMMY!!
Good Luck|||Come up with a funny phrase like "Pink Polka dot Elephant" and tell her that when starts smart mouthing you will say this funny phrase to her as her warning that she better watch her mouth or she may be on track for punishment. By adding humor you are making it non-confrontational but still getting the point across to her that she is crossing the line. Chances are the funny phrase itself may make her crack a smile and calm down her mouth.|||you tolerate what you permit.
You have allowed it,deal with it !|||My 7 yr old has a bit of the same problem. She has perfect citizenship at school but at home I can't help but want to scream. I have tried timeout, spanking, grounding, and I even though away a bunh of her stuff last weekend because she wouldn't clean her room. Finally I told her I would reward her for her good behavior with responsibility points if she cleaned it within an hour and set her alarm clock.
She did it. She got stickers on a chart! It didn't colst me anything and her room got clean without me going crazy!!!Now when she gets a certain amount of stickers for following rules and not arguing and brushing her teeth without me having to tell her and so on..... she will get to go to The movies or something special but it won't be more than $10.00 and it will take a couple of weeks to get it. And it is worth it to me for the peace.
I hope this helps! I am going through the same thing. Dad works on weekends so we battle it out. It is looking up though!|||Refuse to finish a conversaation with her if she continues to argue. EVERY time she starts to get mouthy just tell her you will talk again when she calms down, quits screaming and quits arguing. If she can't talk rationally, there is NO talk. If she wants to talk, she will start to realize and stop herself. OR she'll get very lonely. (Reinforce this by forbidding phone calls till you have finished your conversation at a later time otherwise she will just go call some friend and talk to them instead of you.). Take a 10 minute time out and then ask her if she's ready to continue the conversation. Do this as many times as is necessary. It will be most effective if she has started the conversation and she doesn't get to finish because of her mouth.!!!!
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